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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Balance?

"Mom?"

"Mommmmm?"

"MOMMMMMMM?!?!?!?"

.... That's what I usually hear when I try to get some "work" done. My oldest son says he thinks it's cool that I "kind of have a job" that I can do at home. Because he told me that you have to leave the house to have a "real" job. Good thing he followed it up with "I mean, besides taking care of Carter, me and Nicholas." - that softened me up a bit.... Oh boy, did we have a talk about that "real job" comment. :)

I think that at some point, we all try to find balance in our lives. I know I'm still trying! We decided to add another to our family of four almost two years ago, and that definitely was a change (albiet a wonderful one) in our balance. My older children had started school and I went back to that "real job" my son was speaking of. That was a huge struggle - balancing "real" job, home, husband, children, children's awards ceremonies, guilt over missing some said ceremonies, family, friends and other obligations... the list is never-ending. We finally decided when it was time for the second summer break since I started working again, I'd leave my "real" job since the cost of day camps and what-have-you would more than negate my income, knowing I'd be staying home after my youngest was born anyway. I've been blessed to be able to stay home with all three until they were of preschool age (so far).

Now, I'm balancing trying to work at home, which usually only happens when my husband is home... which isn't often since he works two jobs. I'm trying to figure out how to do it with my little (now walking) shadow that loves to follow Mommy everywhere!

Thankfully, I now have my own room to sew in (well, mostly my own - I'm sharing it for the time being as the homework room as well). But my shadow can't be in there since it's not babyproof  (there's paint, needles, pins, and other whatevers babies shouldn't play with... so they say...) so I usually drag my sewing machine out to the kitchen table to sew when he's around. It never fails that he wakes up in the middle of a sewing project if I try when he's napping (plus, my poor husband once ran out of clean work clothes when I tried that for a while). It never fails though, when I have that door closed, I can hear my kids and husband in the other room and feel guilty that I'm not spending every precious moment I can with them. After all, they grow up while you blink... I'm certain of that.

I don't get much sewing done right now, unless I sew late into the night (which I've stopped - it seems after 11:30 pm, I can't sew straight...) or my husband comes home from work early. That's okay - for now. I'm still in search of the balance that seems just out of reach.

So how do we find that "balance" between working, house work, our precious children, husbands, family, friends, errands, get-togethers, and other "life" things that happen? I know I don't get "me" time. And, actually, I haven't been on a date with my husband in about a year... it was before the birth of my almost-one-year old.

That's next on my priority list.